Who am I and Why am I Here?

30 Days to a Better Blog… Well, I could use a better blog! Why not? I’ve had this blog for a little over a year, it was born out of my frustrations with my health, joblessness and the idle time that accompanies that. Lately, my health has been good, work has been steady, and my hands have been full so my frustration/call to arms posts have not been present recently. If I’m not bitching, do I have anything to say? I hold on to this because I think I do. I’m still on my path of unconventional growth, my book-lust has been going strong for about a year, I’m back in therapy analyzing every thought and feeling, I’m applying what I’m learning in therapy to my professional development. Stuff is happening, I’ve yet to articulate it in this format but it’s something I want to do. I want to leave evidence of where I’ve been and what the journey looks like (mine anyway), what I have to offer.

Introduce Yourself
Today’s assignment: write and publish a “who I am and why I’m here” post.

Hi, I’m Melissa, sometimes melissa, sometimes Mel.
I’m here because I’m inspired (and also frightened) by disclosure that leads to connection, I’m here because I want to participate in that and experience that for myself. I’m here because I want access to a wide variety of people and the individual wisdom they hold.

I’m about ideas, inspiration and the process of reading and research that comes with trying to identify ways to address an issue. I’m about starting that process of addressing an issue, but I’m often on to my next idea before I can see it through. Having said that, I’m also about procrastination.
I’m about self care. I’m about having peanut butter, video games, crackers, and beer for dinner. I’m about sushi, fried cornbread, and all the parts of a coconut. I’m about singing in the car and listening to a song on repeat. I’m about stimming, spinning, and rocking.

I’m about books that challenge how I see the world. I’m about books about my profession that were published before 1985. I’m about myth and metaphor. I’m about running with the wolves and laughing full belly laughs.

I’m about my imperfections and learning to love them. I’m about distractibility and absent-mindedness. I’m about taking “flaws” and making them strengths.

I’m about irreverence, sarcasm, and cursing. I’m about saying “F*ck it!” I’m about facing and engaging my darkness. I’m about doing things that scare me.

I’m about constantly asking “why?” and “so what?” I’m NOT about rules, I’m about dismantling them. I’m about experiments, I’m about tapping the fish tank, just to see what happens. I’m about learning for learning’s sake.

I’m about documentaries, dark comedies, and dysfunctional family flicks.

I’m about a cup of hot tea, in the morning and after lunch. With a cup of tea, I can face the day.

I’m about meeting my varied needs in a variety of people, rather than having all my needs met by one person. I’m about vocalizing my Needs.

I’m about gratitude. I’m not about debt.

I’m about selfishness. I’m about going with a person on a journey because it’s fascinating and redemptive, not out of an altruistic desire to help. I’m about the feeling that comes with being an instigator, a container, a mirror. I’m about people and if I’m spending time with you, it means I like you.

I’m about knowing and being known. I’m about visibility.

I’m NOT about keeping it together. I am not together. I will never be together. I’m not about pairing my socks, I often grab my clothes for the day out of a basket. I’m NOT about being “good,” I am about humanity and wholeness.

I’m about the search for answers, not having them. I’m about the journey.

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